4 Last Minute Gifts for the Lady-Techie in Your Life
Scrambling to find that perfect, last-minute holiday gift for a software engineer, data scientist, program manager, or other techie who’s also a female human? Well, scramble no more. We’ve rustled up some of our fave holiday gifts to inspire you and delight the lady-geek in your life.
“Micro-aggression of the day” tear-off calendar
Forget Dilbert, Garfield, and Peanuts: we’ve got way better calendars to buy, like this “Micro-aggression of the day” calendar. Flip it open and your gift recipient might just see something she’s all-too-familiar-with. Plus, she’ll experience new outlets for her pent-up rage: the pages are made of a super-flammable polyester-paper hybrid, so she can set them on fire for extra catharsis. If that special someone in your life is having trouble putting a name to why her workplace is bothering her, this is the perfect gift.
Glass ceiling sledgehammer in pink
Just a few minor setbacks to our recent work on the glass ceiling demolition, but nothing that won’t stop us. Your favorite tech-lady will be proud to display this extra-stylish, hot pink sledgehammer on the wall of her office. It even comes with a display case that says: “In case of oppression, break glass ceiling.” Of course, to use the sledgehammer she first has to break the case, then break the glass ceiling, but, well… this extra obstacle is a convenient metaphor. If she chooses to hang it directly on the wall sans case, she can furtively chip away at the ceiling cracks when no one’s looking. The holidays are an excellent time to do this — everyone else is out on vacation, but we all know she’s still at the office working towards that elusive promotion. She can even swing it at sexist coworkers when she gets frustrated. You go, girlfriend!
The perfect conference outfit
Show how thoughtful you are with the gift that truly keeps on giving. The perfect conference outfit means your favorite techie will never again have to overthink what she’s wearing for the big conference that she may or may not be speaking at. Questions like: “Should I wear pants or a skirt?”, “Is this outfit too feminine?”, “Is this skirt the right length?”, “Is this blouse too tight?”, “Will people take me seriously?” and “Wait, can I even attach a mic to this?” will be a thing of the past. Conference attendees will, by default, treat her as a respected professional in her field— they’ll defer to her knowledge and expertise. Better yet, no one will assume she’s another attendee’s wife or girlfriend. Who knew clothes could do all that?
Does your tech friend look perpetually exhausted when you see her? Is she anxious and depressed? Has she been withdrawn from social gatherings for three or more months? When you ask her how work’s going, does she respond, “Don’t ask” or change the subject? If so, she may need an indefinite sabbatical! Get her out of that toxic workplace and into a tropical paradise (or other destination of her choice). Better yet, indefinite sabbaticals are now conveniently available with Prime shipping and drone delivery in the UK — just be sure to leave enough time for holiday delivery!
There you have it, thoughtful gift-giver. Hopefully we’ve managed to get those altruistic juices flowing. So, just click on over to Amazon and add some of these amazing holiday gifts to your cart before it’s too late. Your favorite lady in tech will undoubtedly thank you!
Kimberly is a writer and photographer. She has no idea what she’s buying for people’s holiday gifts, so instead she’s making ridiculous lists. The rest of the time you’ll find her traveling or eating.
We hope you enjoyed this piece of satire! We are excited to have this new form of story on Code Like A Girl.