Like A Girl

Pushing the conversation on gender equality.

Code Like A Girl

8 Things That Will Keep You Going When You Are Struggling

because dread sometimes will get to even the best among us

Life is happening behind the monitor too, so I wasn’t particularly looking forward to the arrival of those days when as a new developer you can not help but feel like you are swimming adrift in the middle of the sea, and you have no life preserver.

Below are 8 things I want to show you, I do, that helped me to cope when those days happen to come around for you because they will.

1.Cut down on worry sources — Straight away, I would be the first one to tell you that this is bullshit advice, because it is tough, impractical or almost impossible for someone like me to follow as I am a chronic worrier. But sitting here and thinking about how things will not get better right away is why we humans can’t find our path out of struggles sooner. It takes pattern changes, action, and a little self-trickery to make yourself worry less, but it is possible, you have to trust that it will work in the first place. Locate and assess, where most of your ‘extra’ worries are coming from, if a significant worry source happens to be your finances, then go and set up a budgeting plan for your monthly expenses, and pay yourself first by saving a little so that you can have some peace of mind. If it is your health, address it and try to eat and sleep better or get some exercise, if you worry that you are not learning anything new, go and change that too. So that once you have a plan that you can stick to, your peace of mind quotient goes way up.

2. Don’t over commit your free time — like in your finances, pay yourself first and keep your agenda and social obligations as your code, clean as possible. Get alone time and recharge.

3. Focus on a kind word given to you that day — whenever you think it was an honest one or not it is none of your business, so hang on to it for all that it is worth. However, be prepared because genuine kindness might make you tear up a little 🙂

4. Use your non-tech hobby to remind yourself of how much you do love what you do — For me, I write poems and prose, play the bansuri, paint or sew, these are my hobbies, and all they have in common with software development is that they fulfil my life purpose and soul call which is creating. If its something beautiful, useful and made by my hands even better. But they also work as a daily reminder that what drove me into software development was primarily this innate passion and essential need that I have to create continually, so even on the bad days, you will remember that you are doing something that your soul always thirsts.

The Wave — one of my paintings hanging on the gallery of where they pay me to code ❤

5. List down your many recent wins, yes, many wins— We all know we have many, but we ignore them most of the time. So be kind, rewind and keep them in mind.

6. Listen to good music, which fills you with the desired emotions — Be it motivation, relaxation or to keep people away from your desk, put those headphones on and some good music.

7. You are enough and impressive — remember that. Your mom and your dad were right. You are the most beautiful and brilliant person to have ever existed. How can someone not just adore a being as lovable as you are? What will happen will happen my friend, and it is for us to know when we know it. Until then, try to remember, even if for a millisecond every day, the only absolute truth there is: you are positively amazing already.

8. Honor where you are — Feelings, be they pleasant or not, are motions of the being that we have to embrace, we have to honor them and let them go. Assess them often to see if you have been giving positive and negative feelings about yourself shelter and harbour for way too long or too little. Sometimes it is time to give permission and let them stay a while or send them out on their way. Just like the tide, they will come, and they will go, but by then, doesn’t matter the wind, nor does it matter how high or low, furious or soft the waves are, all it does is paint the picture of a beautiful sea.