Like A Girl

Pushing the conversation on gender equality.

Code Like A Girl

PSA to my Medium troll from last week — DON’T F*CK WITH A WRITER.

Ya know, I usually save the f-bombs for the climax of my articles, but not this time. This time, it’s “fuck that guy”…second sentence.

Last week, I wrote a controversial article titled, If You Think That A Harvard Grad Is Smarter Than You, Then You’re Actually Pretty Stupid. The article was meant to inspire non-ivy league grads to realize that they too are intelligent experts, just in matters that differ from grads of ivy leagues. While an ivy league grad may have spent a near decade experiencing a challenging education, a high-school drop out has spent that time experiencing the realities of the working world. The experiences are very different, and after a decade, both are experts in their field of study. Intelligence is simply “the ability to acquire and apply knowledge”, so by the dictionary definition, both are equally intelligent. You can read more of my theory in my last article, here.

What you will not find there, however, is this asshole’s comment. I read his comment, then typed a paragraph-long response, then I deleted that tentative response, then typed a one-sentence response, posted it, then deleted it, and after a long deliberation, I decided to also delete his comment and block this asshole like the butt-plug he is.

Before I blocked him, though, I went to his page just to see if there was anything I could understand about this kind of person before I erased him into my Medium oblivion. Up to this point, to me, he was just an “asshole”. It wasn’t until I went to his Medium profile, that I realized he wasn’t just another asshole. The guy had written no articles of his own, and his entire profile was him commenting negative responses to other peoples hard-earned and well-respected articles. There was a little racism in these comments. I also found a little misogyny, too. There was no profile photo, and there was a whole lot of undeserved arrogance. That was when I realized, this guy wasn’t an asshole; he was a troll. He’s the kind of guy I’ve heard about — he who spends his entire day searching for things to disagree with. You know…he who doesn’t feel his day is complete unless he’s gotten into a “debate” with a complete stranger.

He’s the kind of person who sees someone with her chin up, and therefore feels that she would be the perfect person to knock down.

If the internet was a neighborhood, this guy would live under the bridge near the alley that your mom told you never to walk through after dark.

Look, I disagree with a lot of things throughout the day, but I never feel the need to stuff my disagreement down another’s throat. The type of person who actually wants that kind of confrontation to the point that they actually disrespectfully comment on the things that they disagree with is not like you and me. We do not share the same values. We do not operate with the same level of respect. I don’t think I could ever fully understand where you have to mentally and emotionally be, in order to act out in this way.

As I left his profile and returned to my own, once more I thought about typing a response. Then Ty looked at me and asked, “are you trolling the trolls now?”

That’s when I knew that blocking him was indeed the right thing to do, but minutes later, I was still upset. An hour went by, and I was still angry. After a bit of introspective questioning, I realized that I was not angry at the fact that I was called a fuck face.

I was angry at the fact that I was silent.

I was angry at the fact that I knew this troll wanted nothing more than a response from me, and in an effort to resist giving him what he wanted, I closed my mouth.

I was angry because I actually had a lot to say to this guy, but I couldn’t because unlike him, I don’t write articles in order to pick fights, I write them in order to inspire.

I was angry because if I gave this troll a dose of his own medicine, in the end, it would only hurt myself because by stooping to his level I’d then become the very thing that I despised — a troll.

I was pissed off that the internet has curated a place for the cowardice and anonymous to vomit their insecurities all over people who did not ask to be vomited on.

Yep, I was angry because I was silent so that’s when I decided — fuck that.

Here’s a PSA to my troll from last week —“DON’T FUCK WITH A WRITER”, dumbass.

This isn’t Instagram, asshole, where your stupid comment just gets lost in the thousands of comments of some selfie-queen. This isn’t fucking Twitter either, where we’re limited to express ourselves in under 280 characters. This is Medium, where us writers thoughtfully create meaningful pieces with the hopes of bringing people together. This is not the place for you to shit all over yourself and others. Medium is for people of a particular caliber, and here, you stick out like the troll that you are. We see your Trollism plain as day on your profile, and you WILL be blocked.

You might even get an article written about you, not that you’ll be able to see it, since… you know, you’re blocked, and all.

Us writers are empowered, we’re expressive, and we will not be silenced. And trolls are dimwitted, miserable, and they will not be tolerated.

So in light of my new realization, I have created two new rules that I shall now go by when it comes to writing articles on Medium. If you too are a Medium writer, perhaps you should consider adopting these as your own.

#1 After I write… I disown.

The truth of the matter is that whenever I write something, though it is a reflection of my personal thoughts, once it is read by another, it then becomes the reflection of their personal thoughts. Many of you who clap for my articles may believe that you are clapping for me and my perspective, but you’re really clapping for that of your own. I put my beliefs on the table, and you clap because they just happen to match the beliefs of your own. On the other hand, those that do not share the same thought process as me, don’t because they’ve lived an entirely different life and have established an entirely different belief system.

I write to express where I am in my life, and your life experiences may allow you to meet me there and agree with me, but some people can’t meet me there, and that’s okay. Everyone is entitled to his or her own experience. So, after I write, I disown. I’ve done my part. I’ve put my beliefs on the table. How it is perceived and taken after that is up to the reader.

#2 My articles are never up for debate.

You don’t write on the topics that I write about unless you think differently and have the courage to express that difference, and it doesn’t stop on Medium. Everything that I’ve written about was once a verbal conversation first. Perhaps it was a conversation with Ty, perhaps it was a conversation with a coworker. Either way, about 50% of the time that I bring up a controversial topic, it becomes a debate. I love hearing someone else’s challenging point of view. I love the possibility that maybe I’m wrong, maybe there’s something more to learn here, maybe I haven’t thought this all the way through.

Debating on social media, however? No way. Not gonna happen. I don’t debate via the internet like a 14-year-old boy. This isn’t the Call of Duty chatroom. This is Medium. Here, my articles are not up for debate. You can comment your opinion, but I will in no way debate with a blatantly disrespectful and immature point of view.

And anyone who disagrees with this rule is the very reason why the rule needs to exist.

So, now that the dust has settled, and the dawn of a new week is among us, I look down the alley where the trolls hide and I know that I’m never going down that road again.

Us writers have to write with honor and dignity and that also means we must react in ways that maintain that honor and dignity as well.

And humor… we must continue to remain humorous, despite the angry trolls desire to make us just as miserable as they are.

So I’ll admit it…

…the term “fuck face” is kind of a funny name to call someone.

Felecia

— I’m a coder, designer, and YouTuber.