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Roxy Dee’s 2018 Infosec Predictions

2018 predictions for Infosec and the World Wide Internet! This is the ONLY predictions article you need to read for 2018!

1. We’re finally running out of IPv4!

Finally, we’ll upgrade to IPv5! The Internet of Things has taken over, and we will be officially out of IPv4 by February. This will force us into IPv5, and by December 2018 we will be on IPv7. Please upgrade your Internet Port of calls ASAP.

sudo apt-get install IPv5

2. The meritocracy gets an update!

The current meritocracy will be dismantled and replaced by a meritocracy with women at the top, deciding what is deserving of merit. This will upset the men that have been huge meritocracy fans and result in a huge sigh of relief from the men that aren’t meritocracy fans. Then after the meritocracy men have been tortured long enough, the women and men against meritocracy will demolish it.

3. Linux on the Desktop

Definitely every infosec professional will be using Linux on the Desktop. The trend is taking over. This wikipedia article will be deleted:

4. Robots!

2018 is the year of the robots! Everywhere you go you will see robots. At the store, they will be stocking the shelves. You’ll ask it a question and it will actually know where things are. It won’t send you on a journey down three different aisles only to find out the store does not actually have that product at all. Do you know how many places I looked for postcards last week and was told they were in the stationary section? Many. Each time they were not. “No, I mean postcards. Like the kind you mail” and each time “oh, I guess we don’t have those.” Except I will give props to QuikTrip for knowing they actually did not have postcards. Every other place wanted to have them and hoped for it, but actually did not. Robots will know right away.

Also, robots do not take cash tips. They will however take batteries as they eat them in order to survive and will know when it is time for a meal.

5. Infosec Rock Stars on Ice

In 2018 we will move from conferences to full on ice shows where our favorite infosec rockstars will skate on ice in attempts to entertain us a bit more. After giving the same talk 10 times,* it’ll be apparent they need to do something different. Bonus points if they can hack on ice.

That concludes my 2018 infosec/tech predictions. I admit a few of these are wishes and not predictions but our dreams will never come true if we do not put them out there.

*It’s ok Rockstars, we still love you!