Like A Girl

Pushing the conversation on gender equality.

Code Like A Girl

What it’s really like to be twenty-four, single and rising on your way to success.

An open letter to all of those out there struggling with success, ambition and finding someone who appreciates it.

View of Boston from Cambridge

“You know what you want. I still want to have fun.”

“It’s just that you are thinking too far into the future for me.”

“You are ambitious, it’s sexy but it’s not where I’m at right now”

These are all things that have been said to me as a way to end or not start a relationship.

I am currently twenty-four years old, live alone in a one bedroom apartment in Somerville, MA and have begun what I believe will be a successful career at the software company, HubSpot, located in Cambridge, MA.

When I was a recent graduate I moved by myself to the East Coast from Colorado to begin a life in Boston without knowing anyone. Now over two years later these exciting, successful and rewarding parts of my life are turning into the reasons why I am not a valuable partner.

Recently, after having another relationship crash and burn I went on a long walk through my beautiful city of Boston. Smiling and laughing the whole time about how this place quickly became a home to me and inspires me each day to become a better version of myself.

After a while I sat down along the water and looked out at the harbor of Boston and began to cry. Why did my ambition and drive end more relationships than start them? Why did knowing that I wanted to have a family one day and live back in California where my parents are from become a ‘bad thing’? Why was being young and true to what I want in life be seen as foolish?

At this moment I stopped. I grew up with role models that ignite my passion to educate and inspire the world with my thoughts and ideas. Was blessed with education that taught me you can never be overeducated (or overdressed). Was even lucky enough to have the chance to travel solo to Switzerland at the young age of twenty-three. And despite all of this I still find myself emotional over those who can’t see that.

Seemed silly to me. My ambition inside of me got upset with me at this point. I am not going to change who I am or make excuses for these folks who can’t see that these qualities are burned into my soul and keep my fire burning hot.

This morning as I sat down at my beautiful desk surrounded by some of the most inspiring men and women I have ever met I reflected on this moment and what it’s really like to be young, ambitious and single. As if by magic an article appeared on my news feed with the quote, “Culture wants to keep you infantile. Those who are addicted to comfort have an allergic reaction when they spend time around those who can ensure uncomfort. Do you want to be addicted to comfort, or addicted to achievement?”

My answer? Achievement. To be obnoxious I will say, “ I am a strong independent woman who don’t need no man” (sorry!). Do I want one? Of course. But I am finally at a place in my life where I am willing to wait to find someone who finds my ambition just as sexy and inspiring as I do.

So what is it really like to be twenty-four, single and on your way to a successful career? Lonely. But don’t let what others think of your ambition change you. It might be lonely but we are inspiring other young men and women to embrace their ambition.

#embraceambition #toryburchfoundation

I am currently an Inbound Professor at HubSpot and educate and inspire people on contacts management, email marketing, email automation, lead scoring, segmentation and workflows. Looking for advice, resume editing or general discussion around career or life decisions please reach out to me at:csembler@hubspot.com